Disappointment is less disappointing than Frustration

  • Disappointment , Frustration are very commonly used words ; especially in the context of Performance management or Stress management . Probably we use them interchangeably without much bothering to think what does each mean & if they both mean the same
  • Before I do my ‘ sense making ‘ on this , I searched dictionary , to find following :
    • Disappointment : “ Sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one’s hopes or expectations.”
    • Frustration : “ The feeling of being upset or annoyed as a result of being unable to change or achieve something.”
  • In the least I note from dictionary that while Disappointment is to do with ‘ non fulfillment ‘ ; Frustration is to do more with one ‘ inability ‘ to achieve something .While I agree with this ‘ reading between the lines ‘ ; to me there is a vast and fundamental difference between what is disappointment & what is frustration . Here is my take , my Sense making
  • Disappointment v/s Frustration
    • I agree that disappointment is about not achieving something ( result / outcome ) ; frustration is about one’s inability to be able to achieve
    • Disappointment is related to an event , a transaction , whereas frustration is about a person’s state of mind
    • Therefore disappointment is a transient phenomenon , frustration is likely to be relatively permanent state of mind . If we ( rather loosely ) use analogy of Change & Transformation , where a change is transient & reversible ; transformation is permanent – similarly in case of disappointment , frustration
    • They are also likely to be ‘ sequential ‘ … it probably takes a series of disappointing events to reach a state of frustration
    • Consequentially disappointment ( hopefully ) leads to action ; frustration is a dead end ; it leads to inaction
    • You can overcome stage of disappointment ; frustration turns you into permanent ‘ negativity ‘ … you tend to speak only negatively & link everything to your frustration .
  • Reason for me to seek this clarity for you is not just for your Knowledge . If you recollect my earlier post on KURI …. I want you / more & more people get a better understanding of this fundamental difference between the two terms & importantly reach your ‘ Realisation ‘ , which will prompt an action .
    • Understanding here is that Disappointment & Frustration are two fundamentally different states ; one takes you to action , other to inaction
    • Realisation from this can be : Since Frustration is sequential to Disappointment & it is a Dead-End , once reached that — it is almost non reversible ‘ disability ‘ of mind ; one needs to be alert at any Disappointment to address it quickly – not let it simmer & set into Frustration , which will be a  Point of NO Return ; hence one should proactively never allow him/ herself to reach that stage
  • Before I sign off , I thus urge you to not just sit on this useful Knowledge , but pick your Realisation & move into Action , so that you never become frustrated in life !

KURI :Intent –Action Bridge

  • It is my conviction that
    • What you do” is a function of “ How you see
    • It is not “ What is “ , but what of what is happening , makes what sense to you will decide what you do
    • Therefore Life is about ‘ Sense Making ‘ ; you ( need to ) constantly try & make ‘ sense ‘ of what is happening around you . You need to think & reflect on what is ( & will ) happening – as to what does it mean – is it good / bad , therefore what do I need to do … What sense you make of what you ‘ see’ , is what is ‘Real ‘ to you  – in a way , your World is inside you
  • Therefore I have reached a conclusion that in the ultimate leadership / achievement quest ; it will not be the Talent deficit, but it will be the Perspective deficit – which will make decisive difference .The constraint to Human achievement, at the highest level will be Self & Own thinking

 

  • In this context I want to share with you another enlightening concept – KURI – created ( not by me but) by one of my entrepreneur colleague & friend . I will share it with you , along with my own ‘ Sense making ‘

KURI stands for Knowledge –> Understanding –> Realisation –> Implementation , in sequentially progressive stages which connects Knowledge ( & intent ) to Action . My take on this

  • Knowledge – What ( is happening around )
  • Understanding – What does it mean ( to me / my circumstances ) my insight / interpretation
  • Realisation – Therefore , what do I need to do
  • Implementation – Act on the realization , as above
  • ‘ Knowledge ‘ & ‘ Implementation ‘ is ‘ outside ‘ of you / your system ; whereas ‘ Understanding ‘ & ‘ Realisation ‘ happens ‘ inside ‘ you – It is your inside ‘ processor ‘ which makes sense of what is happening around – which is different from person to person – which is why different people react to the same situation differently – THE Unique Differentiator !
  • This inner processing is ‘ internalization ‘ which is very critical to one’s effectiveness – is your ‘ sense making ‘ , which actually ‘ empowers ‘ you to effective action , without which you are ‘ floating ‘ , – clueless
  • For most people in India , this bridge , this inner processor is missing ( or broken or rusted ) , hence we notice that while India is high on Knowledge , it is weak on Action . The reason lies in this broken bridge . Since the bridge is broken to logically walk across from Knowledge to Action , in India we jump from Knowledge to Action – which is the ‘ areal route ‘ – reason why most in India speak in the air – pure Gas without Substance . Reason why we in India make good Advisors , Academicians , Consultants , but poor Implementers .
  • Unfortunately most are not even aware of it … only when we realise this gap & revive the bridge , will most of us start making sense & get more effective .
  • In India we mistake Knowledge for Action or for Wisdom . I use this KURI bridge for my colleagues & clients , to bring in them the awareness & push them from ‘ Knowledge ‘ stage to ‘ Realisation ‘ stage ; because , unless the Realisation ‘ hits you ‘ ; action does not start