Disappointment is less disappointing than Frustration

  • Disappointment , Frustration are very commonly used words ; especially in the context of Performance management or Stress management . Probably we use them interchangeably without much bothering to think what does each mean & if they both mean the same
  • Before I do my ‘ sense making ‘ on this , I searched dictionary , to find following :
    • Disappointment : “ Sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one’s hopes or expectations.”
    • Frustration : “ The feeling of being upset or annoyed as a result of being unable to change or achieve something.”
  • In the least I note from dictionary that while Disappointment is to do with ‘ non fulfillment ‘ ; Frustration is to do more with one ‘ inability ‘ to achieve something .While I agree with this ‘ reading between the lines ‘ ; to me there is a vast and fundamental difference between what is disappointment & what is frustration . Here is my take , my Sense making
  • Disappointment v/s Frustration
    • I agree that disappointment is about not achieving something ( result / outcome ) ; frustration is about one’s inability to be able to achieve
    • Disappointment is related to an event , a transaction , whereas frustration is about a person’s state of mind
    • Therefore disappointment is a transient phenomenon , frustration is likely to be relatively permanent state of mind . If we ( rather loosely ) use analogy of Change & Transformation , where a change is transient & reversible ; transformation is permanent – similarly in case of disappointment , frustration
    • They are also likely to be ‘ sequential ‘ … it probably takes a series of disappointing events to reach a state of frustration
    • Consequentially disappointment ( hopefully ) leads to action ; frustration is a dead end ; it leads to inaction
    • You can overcome stage of disappointment ; frustration turns you into permanent ‘ negativity ‘ … you tend to speak only negatively & link everything to your frustration .
  • Reason for me to seek this clarity for you is not just for your Knowledge . If you recollect my earlier post on KURI …. I want you / more & more people get a better understanding of this fundamental difference between the two terms & importantly reach your ‘ Realisation ‘ , which will prompt an action .
    • Understanding here is that Disappointment & Frustration are two fundamentally different states ; one takes you to action , other to inaction
    • Realisation from this can be : Since Frustration is sequential to Disappointment & it is a Dead-End , once reached that — it is almost non reversible ‘ disability ‘ of mind ; one needs to be alert at any Disappointment to address it quickly – not let it simmer & set into Frustration , which will be a  Point of NO Return ; hence one should proactively never allow him/ herself to reach that stage
  • Before I sign off , I thus urge you to not just sit on this useful Knowledge , but pick your Realisation & move into Action , so that you never become frustrated in life !
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Human  Resonance

  • Resonance as a word , is better understood than defined in a dictionary . The very dry & restricted definition in a dictionary does not do justice to this beautiful & potent concept — so here is my sense making on ‘ Resonance ‘
    • Resonance is a state of matter where it feels abundance of energy – free flow at will , for attaining fulfillment
  • We probably first heard it in our Physics Lab in school in the context of a metal . In an experiment we were given a metal tong / fork to strike on a hard surface & watch vibrations ( & the amplitude of vibration ) created in that metal . We were told ( which is true ) that each metal has its own ‘ natural frequency ‘ of vibration . If you make the metal vibrate at its natural frequency , the amplitude of vibration is the maximum / double . This means that at its ‘ natural frequency ‘ the metal produces ‘ higher output ‘ and ‘ willingly ‘
  • This ‘ natural frequency ‘ for a metal is a characteristic of that metal , just as its density , specific gravity or melting point & other properties – which defines the metal & these properties of a metal are different from that of another metal – just like nature of human beings.
  • You can feel it happening in Music . If you pull / strike a string of a stringed musical instrument in just the right way you see the string buzzing & feel the melodious , longer lasting musical vibrations . You can hear this resonance in the sound of a ball being hit by a cricket bat , just at the right spot & at the right time ( timing )
  • I have come to believe that the concept of Resonance is also very intrinsic to Human beings . Each of us can , need to & do resonate towards attaining our fulfillment
    • I therefore believe that each of us have our own unique ‘ natural frequency ‘ if struck at that we resonate . Each one can & will , if only we can find that ‘ natural frequency ‘ for that person .
    • You can feel ( for self ) & see ( for others ) this resonance happening …this is a state of exhilaration , where you experience ecstasy & joy ‘ for nothing ‘ , in anything you do . This is a state where ‘ things happen ‘ , you don’t need to try to hard … nothing you do is a burden for you – the more you do what you do , you feel more happy ( & not tired ) ; you kind of ‘ float ‘ smoothly , everything seems to make sense to you , you have a purpose to exist , you feel life is too short for ALL that you want to do . You have a Great sense of self worth & feel immensely fulfilled . It is a very desired state of mind to be in – should become the ‘ Natural ‘ state to be in for each of us .
  • I also believe for human beings , there exists : Individual Resonance & also Collective Resonance ( like the Bees humming & working in perfect harmony )
  • When resonance happens in an Organisation set up , you see ( not just better but )outstanding results , high energy levels – almost contagious – in employees , a ‘ buzz’ around , you feel the vibrance in the ambience ; it’s a whole lot of positivity which shows not just in measurable results but also in individual fulfillment / happiness and higher employee engagement leading to high retentions .
    • When collective resonance happens , we see a multiplier effect – these organisations may even reach a stage of ‘ Collective Consciousness ‘ …. Where things ‘ happen ‘ , everyone ‘ knows ‘ – nothing needs to be told or explained or asked .
  • So Human Resonance seems to be a very desired state of being ; question is HOW ? Do we know what it takes & Do we know how do we help unfold
  • I don’t think I have a ready answer – a proven formula . But I do have a good understanding of what – why – how it works . Simply it is about ‘ striking a chord ‘ with another person . Various initiatives that we can undertake for human resonance , can be categorized into two ‘ buckets ‘ : Alignment , Ambience
    • Alignment : Each of us has a natural tendency – an inherent strength to do something very well . While a person may be average in many things , there will always be that ‘ one thing ‘ where that person can really to excel . This is what Gallup organization calls ‘ Talent ‘ . All we need to do is to know / understand an employee’s talent & align it with right role . When some one does when he/ she is naturally inclined to do , he/she will reach excellence & thereby a greater sense of fulfillment
    • Ambience : We do not need to resonate anybody , that each individual will do , all we need to do is to provide facilitative ambience for each to blossom . There are many ways / mechanisms / tools one can use to root the employee in Trust & Comfort , with the organization . Tools like : (i) Creating outstanding on boarding experience , (ii) Buddy system , (iii) KYE – Know your employee ( beyond CV & identify value you can add ) , (iv) EVP – Employee Value Proposition ( non monetary promise an organization holds to make an employee ‘ long to belong ‘ )
  • I hope above is adequate enlightenment –Of course if you need further connect or clarity on the subject , you can always reach me @ +91 99860 34443 or yatinsamant@yahoo.co.uk . All the best to all of us !