WHAT DID I LEAVE BEHIND

 It all began with me asking myself this routine question , before leaving a place . I did not understand the POWER of this innocuous sounding question , till when I paused to reflect on it . I realized , apart from an obvious physicality , it has many more dimensions if you care to hear what it means …. “ What did I leave behind “, or rather “ What am I leaving behind “ can be such an anchoring thought – if you really listen to what it means , that can help keep us / our behavior in check
 If we go deeper , it can help unravel what ALL can we possibly leave behind on different dimensions ; like :
o Impression
 Everything we do ( or don’t do ) has our invisible quality signature . ‘Advertant ‘ or inadvertent – we always leave an impression behind & it is important for us to know / realise as to ‘What are we leaving behind ‘
o Performance
 We may not , but what we achieve ( or fail to achieve ) will remain on public memory & will remind them of us – positively or negatively , that is why we need to be conscious of ‘ What are we leaving behind ‘
o Demonstration / example What are we leaving behind
 We may or may not be conscious , but by our behavior – which people can see – we can be a role model to follow / not follow for those ‘ behind ‘ . It is our choice to be aware of ‘What are we leaving behind ‘
o Reputation
 So is the case of Reputation , which is the ‘ Sum Effect ‘ of our thoughts , words & deeds If we want people to remember for what we are , I guess , it is important for us to know – ‘What are we leaving behind ‘
o Legacy
 I have shared in my earlier blogs , psychographically there are two types of people : Trader type or Businessman types .Traders are focused on creation of material wealth ( which can be faceless and transient ) ; Businessmen want to make a difference , they are desirous of leaving Legacy behind ; it is our choice – ‘What are we leaving behind ‘
o Memories , history
 History is created by those who are on a mission , who are conscious of their purpose & reason for their existence ; They are aware and on a directed efforts ; we don’t need to alert them on , ‘ What are we leaving behind ‘
o Mess / orderliness
 Do I need to elaborate on what is happening here & why . This is a largely prevalent behavior of majority who is less self ware and much less socially conscious — They will not do what they are doing ( probably innocently ) if only they become aware of – ‘ What are we leaving behind ‘
o Creations : Product , Process , Progeny , Ideas , Innovations , Tools , Formats , Art
 Whatever we do or choose to pursue in life , the message is clear & universal — ‘ What are we leaving behind ‘ ; if only we know this , we will be very different , optimally leveraged & hugely fulfilling !
 Thus , ‘ What did you ( or I ) leave behind , is such a guiding thought , it helps realization in us on what is appropriate, what is not ; so that we are well equipped to make a right behavior choice
 On one hand , this question can humble us with a realization of enormous potential we have in what / how much are we able to ( create & ) leave behind ; on the other hand it can create a high sense of urgency , realizing that vis-à-vis our capacity , how much we are underleveraged – how much more that we can , but how much less are we leaving behind !
 When now that you realise the enormity of potential and possibilities , for what your actions in the moment can leave behind ; there is a possibility that you can be more aware , alert in the moment you act , to think & design to leave behind what you will , looking back , feel proud about , both quantitatively – but more importantly , Qualitatively !

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Get Beyond Self

( Just back from Engagement ceremony of our dear Daughter ADITI  today , which also happens to be her Birthday . Chose this auspicious occasion to post this profound note which can bring in deep enlightenment and impact )  

There is a Sanskrit Subhashit ,which says that You are your Best Friend , as also your Worst Enemy . In effect on one hand all the ingredients to reach pinnacle are within us & on the other hand ; enormous power to hold us back from what we can be , also resides within us .
It has been conjectured , hypothesized and documented in study literature that most of us die underleveraged to an extent of up to 95 % — living up to just about 5 % of what we are capable of ! There are obviously some strong ‘ Gravity ‘ factors , an inner inertia , which holds us back . If only we can recognize & break these ( internal ) barriers , it can take us from a 5 % level to a potentially 100 % level .
Our Values , Beliefs , Thoughts , Judgments , Opinions , Biases bind us to what we think we know than explore what we do not know – we don’t know. This are the limiting walls , beyond which we can’t grow . These not only limit our options , but typecasts us into a pattern – almost like ‘ locking in ‘ ;unable to move with flexibility to explore what we can .
Qualitatively , the framework of our Beliefs , Values etc becomes a reference point from which we assess / ascertain or judge ‘ others’ position . This makes us a ‘ relative ‘ ( to ourselves ) thinker , robbing our access to absolute ( unbiased ) thinking
Though we are innocently unaware of this ; considering the gravity of the situation breaking these constraining shackles is not easy … it is not just ‘ opening up ; it is more like breaking the Sound Barrier . It is about liberating the ‘ soul ‘ from the ( constraining ) body – It is about “ Getting beyond Self “
Since the biggest barrier for us in life is our self , once we succeed getting past this barrier ( self ) , by definition , there is nothing more to conquer & nothing can stop you – this is where you unleash your fullest potential – unhindered ; that is why it is a ‘ Liberation ‘ stage
“Getting beyond Self ”– is about ‘ defying the gravity ‘ which pulls us down on – at each of the 3 components / levels . We will have to ‘ free ‘ our self on each level .
o Body
o Mind
o Soul
Body – getting fitter , health & energy ahead of your edge
Mind – Choose & make your Work , your Cause , higher than yourself . You can be ordinary( Who You are ) ; but don’t let your work ( What You do ) anything less than extraordinary !
Soul – getting rid of your bondages : Fear , Insecurities , Guilt , Shame , Beliefs , Biases — anything which can hold you back
How do we reach , ‘ beyond self ‘ ?
o Develop Self awareness – Get to know yourself better — Get to know & feel the Elephant you are , so that you develop / see perspectives beyond that of only ‘ One Blind Man ‘ – which is you currently
 Know what you are / are not ; what can liberate you / what can hold you back
o Build Powerful Perspectives – hold a larger perspective to life than just around yourself ; a perspective like “ Win-within-Win “, which helps you to see yourself as a part of a Larger Whole . It tells you to contribute to larger good , with the conviction that your part of the larger good will be larger than good ( better )
Getting beyond yourself is real Nirvana — a Spiritual Journey of real liberation from all Physical , Psychological bondages – You will feel light , you will ‘ flow ‘ ; being in fluidic state will be easy also for you to ‘ connect ‘ / ‘ reach ‘ with the world around . On one hand you can assimilate as much as you want ( with no barrier ) or on the other hand or you can choose to dissolve , surrender & be a part of the larger Being .
Since in this state , you are ‘ outside you’ , you will be amorphous – not bound by a contour / ‘ geography ‘ – you can take the shape you want .
As a corollary , you will no longer be in a ‘ relative ‘ ( to yourself ) frame of mind , when looking at others – there is no question of ‘ judging ‘ anyone since there is no ( Cartesian system of Coordinate Axes with you at the ( 0,0 ) origin ) framework to judge against . You will hence be in an ‘ absolute ‘ stage – which is the form of Truth , Purity — this is the stage perfectly amenable to assimilate or dissolve into the larger Purity ( In Hindu Philosophy , this is a process of Aatma uniting Paramaatma – being a part of the larger whole )
Liberating self from clutches of self , is Real Nirvana !

KURI :Intent –Action Bridge

  • It is my conviction that
    • What you do” is a function of “ How you see
    • It is not “ What is “ , but what of what is happening , makes what sense to you will decide what you do
    • Therefore Life is about ‘ Sense Making ‘ ; you ( need to ) constantly try & make ‘ sense ‘ of what is happening around you . You need to think & reflect on what is ( & will ) happening – as to what does it mean – is it good / bad , therefore what do I need to do … What sense you make of what you ‘ see’ , is what is ‘Real ‘ to you  – in a way , your World is inside you
  • Therefore I have reached a conclusion that in the ultimate leadership / achievement quest ; it will not be the Talent deficit, but it will be the Perspective deficit – which will make decisive difference .The constraint to Human achievement, at the highest level will be Self & Own thinking

 

  • In this context I want to share with you another enlightening concept – KURI – created ( not by me but) by one of my entrepreneur colleague & friend . I will share it with you , along with my own ‘ Sense making ‘

KURI stands for Knowledge –> Understanding –> Realisation –> Implementation , in sequentially progressive stages which connects Knowledge ( & intent ) to Action . My take on this

  • Knowledge – What ( is happening around )
  • Understanding – What does it mean ( to me / my circumstances ) my insight / interpretation
  • Realisation – Therefore , what do I need to do
  • Implementation – Act on the realization , as above
  • ‘ Knowledge ‘ & ‘ Implementation ‘ is ‘ outside ‘ of you / your system ; whereas ‘ Understanding ‘ & ‘ Realisation ‘ happens ‘ inside ‘ you – It is your inside ‘ processor ‘ which makes sense of what is happening around – which is different from person to person – which is why different people react to the same situation differently – THE Unique Differentiator !
  • This inner processing is ‘ internalization ‘ which is very critical to one’s effectiveness – is your ‘ sense making ‘ , which actually ‘ empowers ‘ you to effective action , without which you are ‘ floating ‘ , – clueless
  • For most people in India , this bridge , this inner processor is missing ( or broken or rusted ) , hence we notice that while India is high on Knowledge , it is weak on Action . The reason lies in this broken bridge . Since the bridge is broken to logically walk across from Knowledge to Action , in India we jump from Knowledge to Action – which is the ‘ areal route ‘ – reason why most in India speak in the air – pure Gas without Substance . Reason why we in India make good Advisors , Academicians , Consultants , but poor Implementers .
  • Unfortunately most are not even aware of it … only when we realise this gap & revive the bridge , will most of us start making sense & get more effective .
  • In India we mistake Knowledge for Action or for Wisdom . I use this KURI bridge for my colleagues & clients , to bring in them the awareness & push them from ‘ Knowledge ‘ stage to ‘ Realisation ‘ stage ; because , unless the Realisation ‘ hits you ‘ ; action does not start

Win- Lose or Win –Win – Actually it is much beyond that

  • I am sure everyone is well familiar with ‘ Win-Lose ‘ , ‘ Win-Win ‘ scenarios and that everyone understands / enlightened on , how Win-Win is better , including in negotiations situations
  • However it is likely that you may not have heard that there is something beyond ‘ Win – Win ‘ & better and in fact worth striving for – though not so easy to reach there . You are unlikely to have known this before because no one told you , what I am going to share with you .
  • I do not know what to term this as , but it is a scenario which sees self win , as a subset of other’s win .
    • Can you envisage your win as a part of your customer’s ( or any other party , you are dealing with ) win & not separate from it , to be counted as ‘ Win – Win ‘ — it is NOT Your Win and ‘ his ‘ Win as two ( may be interrelated , yet ) distinct happening ?
    • Can you feel as happy with the other person’s win , you are dealing with ; as much as you would be ( /would have been ) happy with your win – regardless of how you define your win & regardless to whatever happens to what you defined as your win ?
    • Are you willing & happy to ‘ dissolve ‘ your win into someone else’s win , like sugar into milk – so that you can single mindedly focus on achieving only One WIN , that is of the ‘ other person ‘ and feel overwhelmingly & genuinely happy about the remarkable outcome ( like sugar made the sweetened milk ) you helped create , without really bothering to count – ‘ what did you get ‘
  • If you have experienced any of above or if you can relate to the scenario above ; you will understand the concept I am bring to you . Those now enlightened but skeptical about its ‘ practicality ‘ will ask me …if anyone in this world does this , except God & the kins thereof …. I would say YES , Very Much . Each Mother I know , practices that every time with her child
    • I am not aware of any mother , who in any scenario , operates with her child in a ‘ Win –Win ‘ scenario , forget about ‘ Win –Lose ‘ !
    • I am not aware of any mother , who has any ‘ own ‘ agenda , separate from her child’s that makes her count her ‘ win ‘ or  ‘What did I get for what I did ‘ .
    • I have not seen a mother who is not single mindedly focused on her child’s win – that being the only win for he in that situation . And her life is an endless Sum of all such situations
  • I took ‘ Mother ‘ analogy , because it is so visible , happening in each of our lives . However practicing this concept of Win within Win ‘ is not restricted to ‘ biological ‘ mothers . It applies to each that person , who ‘ Mothers’ whatever he / she is involved in – be it person , product , process , cause , nation , entity & I have seen it being practiced
  • Now I will tell you , why I am fascinated with this concept , why I consider it a higher level concept , where can it be applicable & who are well poised to practice it
    • The flaw in ‘ Win – Win ‘ concept – however flaunted & promoted is that … whether ‘Win –Lose ‘ or ‘Win –Win ‘ ; both are ‘ Transactional ‘  …. It has to do with “ What do I get for what I did “ . Even if you are conscious about & calibrate to see each party gets happy , the mind set is still “ What do I get for what I did “  . “ Win within Win “ , goes much beyond to be a ‘ Relationship ‘ approach
    • Other shortcoming in any transactional v/s relationship approach is that in the former ( like in Win –Win ) there are two entities , in the later ( as in Win within Win) there is only one entity . This does not only afford single minded focus of your efforts & energy – quantitatively leading to outstanding outcome ; it also attains ‘ purity of purpose ‘ & qualitatively too attains higher level
  • This concept – rather a Life Approach has not only universal application in whatever you do , but more particularly potently useful in Service industry – for better customer focus . And with its purity of purpose , every step you take on this path enhances your enrichment & happiness quotient
  • Having said that let me caution you that practicing Win within Win is none too easy . Win-Win itself is difficult to practice . Practicing Win within Win will take much more level of mental strength , conviction & determination . I am not sure how many can , but it is certainly very desirable – aspirational journey
    • It will come easy to those who are convinced about & dedicated to creating “ Greater Good “ for the world and have deep intrinsic faith that their share of “ Greater Good “ will be Greater than the ( usual )Good , without having to separately count . It is for those people who take as their obligation to contribute to creating a better World and take themselves as inseparable constituent of the better world , than the other way round
    • It is for that “ Sugar “ who unquestioningly dissolves into the Milk with deep commitment to make the World a better place with it than without – it is not for that ‘ sugar ‘ who refuses to lose its identity by dissolving & in turn makes , self & the surrounding – unfulfilled
  • This piece is therefore dedicated to All Mothers & to All Those who take themselves as Mothers to Whatever they do . This World is a better place , essentially because of them !

Sponge v/s Stone — You have a Choice

# As a person , you can either choose to be a ‘Sponge ‘ or a ‘Stone ‘ .

 

# A sponge has a tendency to absorb liquid poured on it , a stone does not . In a way a sponge is receptive to what it receives .

A sponge does not differentiate between (quality of )liquids poured on it nor does it apply selective judgement

# Its structure follows its belief system . keenness to absorb is evident though very many pores it has on its surface – so that it can absorb as much as it possibly can

# Consequently , it has a reciprocal ability to squeeze out what it does not need . In a way , a sponge can exercise  discretion to say Yes or No to whatever it receives

# These abilities of absorb & squeeze out gives a sponge an advantage to seek & choose to retain what it needs . A sponge’s life is blessed — It has a choice to enrich itself as much & as & when it wishes

 

# A stone on the other hand is stubborn , non receptive

# Its structure follows its belief system. It’s closeness to receive is evident in its solid structure with no pores

# Consequently a stone does not have an ability to squeeze out , what it does not need . Its nature disallows it the discretion to say Yes to what it may want

# A stone does not have a choice of seeking or retaining , what can enrich it ; never mind , a stone does not even wish to

# A stone is oblivious to & untouched by what can add value to it .

 

Unfortunately in real life , many of us , most of the times , act with a Stone’s attitude ; little realizing that a Sponge’s attitude gives them the power to choose what to Accept rather than Reject ( like a stone ) because of lack of ability to choose to Accept 

 

Whether to be a Sponge or a Stone is your choice , because , after all , it is your life  !

Cartesian System – X and Y Coordinate axes

Basis of Coordinate Geometry we learnt is the set of X ( Horizontal ) & Y ( Vertical ) Axes Cartesian system , with their intersection point at (0 , 0 ) coordinates , as the ‘ Origin ‘

Here we take O as ‘ Origin ‘ and assign (0 , 0 ) as coordinates . This helps us to measure locational position of different other points ‘ from ‘ the Origin  . e.g. a point P which is away from O by 3 horizontal units & 4 vertical units is designated as ( 3 , 4 ) as its coordinates – Point P’s location is identified or labelled as ( 3 , 4 )

This , as you can understand is a ‘ relative ‘ & not absolute labelling . It is not that the point can be absolutely called as ( 3 ,4 ) ,but is a measure of its distance from the designated point of origin ( 0 , 0 ) Hence labelling of point P as ( 3 ,4 ) is a function of two factors : (i) Measurement scale ( what distance forms 1 unit ) & (ii) Which point are we taking as the source or starting point . The moment these two parameters are altered , coordinates / ‘ label ‘ of point P will change

‘ Change of Origin ‘ is another familiar concept in Coordinate geometry . Under this if we change point of origin from earlier ‘ O ‘ to a new origin called  ‘ M ‘  , ‘ measurement ‘ of P will  change who will then have a different coordinates .

Interestingly same analogy explains , how we understand ( measure or judge ) and work with each other ; on both parameters : (i) Reference point ( Origin ) & (ii) Measurement scale . Each of us actually carries her / him own “ Co-ordinate axes “ with own   “ measurement scale “

 

  • Each of us takes self as the staring ( & ending ) point … i.e. the point from where the ‘ measurement ‘ begins
  • Each of us takes self as the Absolute Truth , pure , uncontaminated / unbiased ( 0 , 0 ) . We always ‘ measure ‘ other person vis-à-vis who we are & where we are
  • Therefore we always work from a position that “ I am right “ & then see who is ‘ right ‘ or ‘ wrong ‘ vis-à-vis what we believe or what our stance is . Of course those who agree with us are right & those who do not , are wrong . We dismiss or discount stance which we do not understand or one we don’t agree with .
  • How good or bad a person is decided by what distance he / she stands from us . So for us , it is always a ‘ relative ‘ assessment of the other person . It is not an ‘ absolute ‘ position or assessment . And since we do rarely do our own ( absolute – since it is with self ) assessment , we are mostly ignorant that our assessment of the other person can only at best be a ‘ relative one ‘ . We take it for an Absolute assessment , since we have ( mistakenly ) taken for granted that we stand at an Absolute Zero and an absolute Truth . We forget that ours (0 ,0 ) is only an assigned notation for a starting point .
  • However good part of this is that we can use this predicament to do a good “ comparative “ assessment , even if it may be wrong to take this as ‘ absolute ‘ opinion on that person . Even if we retain this awareness in how we assess people , it will be practical . It is important to have this bearing , because often What we do , is a function of How we see
    • You can see this principle in practice , when we are called upon to evaluate Option A v/s Option B . Here though we may be conditioned to evaluate each individually v/s the reference point ( self – Origin ) , when you compare assessments of A & B for a comparative view ; since both had a common reference point ( which is you ) it provides most authentic comparative view  
  • Another contaminator in assessment process , apart from the (self ) starting point is the measurement scale . We have our own view on what forms 1 unit of measurement . It may be very different from what the other person sees as measure of 1 unit . What we say as Very God , may just be Average from the other person’s perspective & vice versa.
  • If we desire a journey towards developing a more dispassionate , a more objective viewpoint ; we need to help ourselves along following steps
    • Develop an awareness of our “ Cartesian System “ — awareness that we are actually carrying with us our own system or simply a ‘ Frame of reference ‘ or a ‘ coloured pair of glasses ‘ . This will help us in being more conscious of the process , than being ignorant
    • Take a more comparative view than an absolute opinion
    • Try and regularly do “ change of origin “ . Remember you are not an absolute (0 , 0 ) ; keep shifting and adjusting your position to different locations & see how you see the world differently . Better still , see if you can take some on else as (0 , 0 ) & measure yourself vis-à-vis that origin ; or you can do “ swap “ of origin with that person & see the view both ways to perfect your perspective .
    • Try & calibrate your ‘ Measurement Scale “ by learning about , ‘ alternative scales ‘ & settle to an acceptable scale by a larger audience

If you do this , you will realise that not just how complete / comprehensive your view becomes , but you will also amazingly discover how Universal it becomes

INTUITION v/s IMPULSE 

Intuition and impulse , both may appear as ‘ flashes ‘ occurring to mind , without a logical deduction process ; however they differ on the source they come from
o Intuition comes from ‘ inside ‘ – it is a result of wisdom from accumulated & seasoned experience and abilities . It is a refined though conscious sense or feel .
It is the evolution of Unconscious Competence
o Impulsive thought ( Impulse ) on the other hand appears on the surface — like a ripple on a water surface , it has a short life … no reason for being , no reason for ending .
Neither does it come from a deep inside , nor does it create a deeper impact . It does not have a basis , it is just a flash without purpose or connect
It is like a body without a soul
If I have to take an analogy … Impulse and Intuition , both may appear as shiny droplets , for the uninitiated …. Intuition is like a Pearl whereas Impulse is like a water bubble … will not last , but you will not miss when it is not there . Pearl is too precious to be lost